Bridgerton Season 2 just hit Netflix, which means it's time to revisit our very serious ranking of crushes from the Netflix series. The Duke of Hastings may be out of the picture, but the ton is still pesky with crush material, from the generally unimpressive Bridgertons right up to our own picks for the diamond of the season.
This time around, we divided our crushes into categories, and we stayed away from married members of the ton (with a few exceptions). Most of these characters are clamoring to get married anyway, and we are available!
Worst: The Bridgerton Siblings
24. Colin Bridgerton
Pro: A romantic paragon who is kind, loves hard, and is full of forgiveness.
Con: Genuinely not smart. Leave Marina alone! What did you think was going to happen there, dummy? And stop talking about Greece!!!
23. Eloise Bridgerton
Pro: Smart, funny, good-looking, loaded, challenging, headstrong.
Con: Except when she uses all the above traits to stomp all over people and get her friends in trouble.
22. Benedict Bridgerton
Pro: Paint?
Con: Paint. His whole plot is paint. And not being gay, for some reason.
Harmless randos
21. The dudes from the races
Pros: Perfectly charming, well-mannered, and benign suitors.
Cons: Edwina's suitor does not take Marriage Mart seriously enough, and Kate's turned out to be a plant from Anthony!
20. Naked lady from Benedict’s art school
Pros: Sexually liberated, interested in the arts
Cons: Do we know her name?
19. Eloise’s footman who takes her to Theo
Pros: Employed, diligent, loyal
Cons: Again, what is his name
18. The poor dweebs who wanna dance with Eloise
Pros: They seem nice!
Cons: Puppets of societal convention
What is the Regency term for THOT?
17. Prudence Featherington
Pro: Her mom is cool?
Con: Not gonna lie, it's hard to remember which Featherington sister she is.
16. Philipa Featherington
Pro: Her sister (Penelope) is cool.
Con: Thought she was Prudence until we started to work on this article.
15. Cressida Cowper
Pro: Glacial beauty, money, ruthlessness. Okay sense of style, if you don't read Whistledown.
Con: Ruthless…more like toothless. If you're going to scheme, come up with a scheme that will actually work.
14. Mr. Finch
Pro: Will put together the best cheese board you've ever had.
Con: Annoying parents.
Playing with fire
13. Madame Delacroix
Pros: Still sexy, petty, and mysterious
Cons: Not around as much and also maybe her designs went out of style?
12. New Lord Featherington
Pros: Smooth as heck
Cons: extreme Anna Delvey voice POOR
11. Theo Sharpe
Pros: Hot, smart, sassy, feminist
Cons: None yet, but we barely know the guy. He could just be the Georgian version of Jess Mariano.
MILF Island
10. Mrs. Varley
Pros: Trustworthy, resourceful, growing thirstier by the day
Cons: Bit of a catastrophist, isn't she?
9. Violet Bridgerton
Pros: Still one of the sweetest characters in the series, a hopeless romantic who wants all her children to be happy
Cons: Arguably tied with Anthony for Most Traumatized Bridgerton and unclear if she processed or just repressed it
8. Daphne Basset (neé Bridgerton)
Pro: Honestly she's pretty perfect. There's a reason the Duke burns for her.
Con: She's only just graduated from the Bridgerton sibling section to the MILF section. Give her time.
7. Mary Sharma
Pro: Once a diamond, always a diamond. Mama Sharma is fine.
Con: Still in love with her dead husband, probably.
6. Portia Featherington
Pro: She's a femme fatale with fantastic taste in florals and an absolutely devious intellect for scams.
Con: None, Portia is terrible and perfect.
5. Lady Danbury
Pro: Outstanding cheekbones. Out. Standing.
Con: Not technically a MILF. I think you need kids to be a MILF?
The diamonds
4. Penelope Featherington
Pro: Brilliant writer, looks great in yellow, coolest person on the show by a long shot, is Lady Whistledown and can ruin people's lives with her quill and ink.
Con: There's nothing wrong with Penelope. It's society that is wrong for her.
3. Edwina Sharma
Pros: A diamond in every sense; Kind, considerate, intelligent, family-oriented
Cons: She really was that blind
2. Anthony Bridgerton
Pros: Well-mannered, determined, smokin' hot, got a cool new haircut
Cons: Needs years of bee-specific therapy
1. Kate Sharma
Pro: Whew. Hooooo boy. Just….oh my god? Oh my god? She's…she's the most beautiful…look at her. Just look. At. Her. Is she an angel? How is she real? Kate. Kaaaaate. You're so pretty, Kate.
Con: No.
-
A very serious ranking of all your 'Bridgerton' Season 1 crushes
-
'Bridgerton' is so fun but they have to learn how to talk to each other
Bridgerton Season 2 is now streaming on Netflix.
Comments